Monday is my birthday. It should be a happy time, I suppose. Isn't 41 truly the beginning of middle age? I can hardly believe that it's been over 9.5 years since I temporarily went blind due to optic neuritis. Wow, time flies and life has changed.
Many of those changes have been good and the result of unexpected circumstances. But lately I've been fighting a depressed mood. Insomnia has grabbed me and I do enjoy the quiet of night. I have little motivation to get things done which is understandable when using the vacuum makes my wrists hurt, folding laundry makes my arms ache, and the presence of piles of clutter on just about ALL surfaces makes me stick my head in the sand (so to speak).
I do like this time of year though. The temperatures begin to drop, sweat doesn't begin to drip as soon as you go outside, and a blanket on the bed gets used at night. The only thing I wish did not change during this time is the length of days becoming shorter. Much too soon, it will be getting dark at 5PM.
Besides that, Monday is my birthday (which I think I already said). Last year, I approached my birthday with great expectations and hopes for the future. I was turning 40 and pretty excited about potential changes in my life... changes which failed to occur. Now, I'm trying really hard not to dwell on the differences between dreams and realities, expectations and results, hopes and failures.
I'm trying to hold it together and live without expectations. But it's really hard when there is still hope.
To symbolize the assembly of putting our lives back together after disappointment, I'm offering the jigsaw puzzle below.
Now go have a great Labor Day weekend!!