Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Life with RRMS: Stubbornness or Denial? When MS Makes a Minor Appearance

Ok, I admit to a certain level of stubbornness. Last week, I had that nasty episode of spasticity which resolved (see my post "MS Needs to Check My Calendar First" on MultipleSclerosis.net).  During the past 2 weeks or so, I've had on/off bladder issues.  (grumble, grumble). 

So this past Monday, I dug through my meds to locate the "emergency" supply of decadron I've had since 2011 and started up a steroid taper. Yesterday, no bladder issues.  Today, no bladder issues.  Whoohoo.  This is nice.

Oh, wait.  That means this really does count as a minor relapse, I suppose.  (boo). 

No surprise, really, as I've been pushing myself so hard for the past couple of months; it was bound to catch up with me.  And right before I'm heading out of town/on the road 4 days out of 6 next week.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have a nicely rounded steroid face when meeting several people for the first time.  Maybe I can avoid the dark circles under the eyes this time though.

Here's fingers crossed that nothing bigger arises on the MS front until I am able to schedule my next round of Rituxan (hopefully in May, probably in June).

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Short term memory problem? Or, just a wandering mind?

This morning in the middle of my shower I was standing under the shower head with water flowing through my hair.  I checked the back of my ears to see if they were clean.  Once I was satisfied, I reached for my shampoo bottle.

Wait.  Had I already washed my air?  I seem to recall squeezing shampoo into the palm of my hand.  So I checked my hair.  The hair itself felt smooth and even, not obviously dirty, but not squeaky either.  (Not that I aim for "squeaky" hair, just clean hair.)

So I continued to squeeze shampoo into my hand and proceed to wash my hair.  If I've already done it once, a second time won't hurt.  If this is the first time, then I'm glad I didn't skip it and come out of the shower with wet, but dirty, hair.

Everything goes as normal while now my mind is not on all the details of things going on my life, I'm just thinking about getting my hair clean.  It was when I was finishing up the rinsing process, that I realize I really had not washed the first time.

Do you want to know how I knew "for sure"?

Every time I wash my hair, I end up with several strands of hair stuck to my hands, back and palm.  I typically roll these strands into a ball and discard them.  (Often, discarding entails flinging the ball of hair onto the wall of the shower or on the bottom rung of the shower shelves which is our "toe hold" for shaving legs.)

There was no ball of hair present, so I contributed the contents of my palm.  Proof I had washed was deposited in the shower.

Then, I used a little bit of conditioner which always helps the other loose hair to be released from the big mop of hair which I continue to grow on a regular basis.  A second ball of hair is deposited in the shower, this time much larger than the first.

One would think with all of the hair that ends up on the shower walls and in my combs and brushes that I experience significant hair thinning.  So far, that hasn't become evident, but I'm sure that it will something.

In the meantime, when I question whether or not I really had washed my hair as I was daydreaming under the water, I can turn around look for the deciding proof.  No balls of hair means Lisa hasn't shampooed yet.  Simple solution.

So was it a temporary memory problem, a wandering mind, or just another instance of going through life and not being in the present moment?

What do you think?  How do you know if you've already done something or not when you're in middle of doing it?